i am a terrible person. i’m fucking around with one of my friends ex’s.
how terrible of a human being would you have to be to do that.
i never thought i would do this but here i am.
i expected nothing less from myself i don’t even like him i just like the idea of him.
i’m a fucking whore. he thinks he’s in love with me. i’m the wrong person to be in love with.
i don’t want to hurt him. but i’m already doing that.
i don’t have the balls to own up to what i’m doing bc i know i’m doing something terrible.
and that makes it even worse is i know exactly what i’m doing.
i want to put it to an end i really do but i don’t know how.
and what makes is even worse is that he’s bsf’s with somebody i used to talk too.
i doing this to two people.
i should even care about what i’m doing to the guy i was talking to bc he hurt me he used me and made me look fucking stupid.
but that’s not an excuse i shouldn’t do that.
but i’m doing it anyways, why bc that’s who i am and i know i should t do this but look at that i’m doing it.
i feel so disgusted with myself.
one moment i love it i want to be with him but i’m just falling for the idea of him.
i always seem to do that. he’s not even my type. but i guess i liked the attention.
i liked that i had someone to love. but who the fuck am i to do that. to do that to someone’s ex.
my bsf’s ex. and he was a dick to her from what i know, why could i do this to myself.
i have to end this rn. but how he wants to have sex with me. he’s that invested in this.
i can’t fucking do it.
i don’t want to be with him i need to tell him it’s the right thing to do.
but i’m not ready for that. i wasn’t ready for this, i didn’t need this in my life rn.
i didn’t need him. i honestly don’t know why i did this.
i knew he liked me and i knew i couldn’t be with him bc of the circumstances.
but i did it anyway.
sometimes i feel good about it like i actually like him and i actually want to be with him and then next moment i feel so guilty.
i feel terrible about it and uncomfortable.
every time i look at my bsf i get this wave of guilt and i should that’s what i deserve.
she doesn’t deserve that to happen to her. she’s to good of a person.
i’m the last person she’d expect to be fucking around with her ex bf but here i am fucking around with her ex bf.
i’m so fucking disgusting with myself.
but i can’t make this about myself i have no right or reason to be upset i did this to myself and i need to own up to my actions and except the consequences.
i need to be responsible. how the fuck did i get into this situation im 14 years old.
im too young for this shit.
i have no idea what the fuck love is and this kid thinks he’s in love with me.
that’s fucking wild.
