I don't know if this counts as a confession but I wanted to put this somewhere.
So I hope this is okay.
Tony, you are one of many who hear my sad words, happy words, and my thoughts.
I talk to you even though only you can see you. I imaging you there listening to my thoughts.
Well, this is my last thought for now. I have everything.
I nice phone, good-ish looks, a nice home, 2 parents, almost all the things I want (food, closes, beauty products).
But I'm still unhappy. I feel as if things aren't able to keep me happy anymore.
I always know if I get something good I will always have something bad happen to me.
I will get some time of happiness then I'm back to being in a bad mood and sad. I don't understand.
Why. What's wrong with me. I'm smart. But I don't show in school. I don't know why.
I can't make people happy. I failed my dad.
I also think that I can get past this once and awlie and that I'll be happy later once I achieve this or that.
But I'm not. You know what happened in New Jersey. I was in a bad mood.
I don't know why exactly but, I think I was envious of the happy people or just felt out of place.
And at the end of the night, I had a mental breakdown.
I cried on the bathroom floor till I was numb. The makeup is all messed up.
Afraid of the consequence of crying. I don't know why I cried. I was just so upset about something.
I have everything. But I'm not happy. One day I will die. I will wait for the world to do that.
So my last thought to you and the others is that no matter how I imagine you or the many others.
In a happy life together.
It will never be real; and even If it was real I may still, Never be happy.
