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Most of my high school days I was depressed and even suicidal

Most of my high school days I was depressed and even suicidal. I didn’t see a use for me in the world. Now that I have some things to look forward too, these suicidal thoughts make me feel even more unappreciative.

Why do I still feel like this even though I’ve finally figured out what I want to do in life?
It’s like I wasn’t made to live a life without these thoughts and feelings.

What do you think?

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