These are my deepest secrets

Today I tried to swallow a cucumber and a long hot dog to see how much penis I could
fit in my mouth. Yesterday I discovered that penis obsession is associated
with OCD and boy do I have it. Dream about them at night…go over every time
I had one in my mouth and how I felt. Gets me so excited I can hardly breath.

This I am afraid is the real me – a cocksucker.

I’ve tried for 37 years to kill this feeling but it doesn’t go away. Doesn’t
matter where it came from – I seem willing to put my life at risk to keep
it alive.

There was a time when I wanted to cut off my penis and my balls because
it seemed that that would slow down the drive. I swear if I knew it would
do the trick I would seriously consider it.

Now there is this drive to be a bottom. To let other men use me as a receptacle
to make my bottom a place where they can push in their penis and then ejaculate
inside me.

I dream of being humiliated, sperm shot off on my face…dripping. Being called
what I am…a man slut. I dream of being watched by a women while I
service a man.

One time I wore panties and gave a blow job to a catholic priest in his bed.

Must have looked ridiculous.

Got picked up by a young man and gave a him a blow job in his car.

I had a Japanese man kiss me and I reciprocated and then let him take
me to his hotel room and do whatever he wanted to me.

Use to buy panties and bra’s and makeup and prance around hotel rooms in
Hong Kong hoping an employee would see me and use me.

Went home with a man I didn’t know…let him into my house and he wanted
to top me. But for some reason I was too sore.

Called a telephone number I found in a sex shop and made arrangements to
meet a man in a parking lot. Found him and went down on him to his satisfaction.

Got picked up by a man driving a 442..went to his home and gave him the
blow job of his life. He had such a nice big penis – I swallowed his sperm.

I think I gave a sailor a blow job behind a building in Japan right out
where anyone could have seen me.

I’m supposed to be a respectable person but I am not. I am a older man
who wishes he could be a twink.

When I was young I had a friend that when I slept over he use to slowly
slip his penis between my buttocks. I loved it and never forgot it.

I got paid for my first blow job – 50 cents.

So I guess that makes me a queer prostitute.

These are my deepest secrets…only me an God know about these…and now you.