I think im depressed
The pandemic just let me see it
Bare minimum I have a drug/substance abuse problem.
I drink now for comfort, i mix pills and alcohol because it makes me feel good. Nothing more.
I just like not having to think.
Ill get drunk and read a textbook because i dont have to think about the relationship im in that id rather watch burn than continue but dont have the guts to change or how i worry that i have no meaning or that my family never showed me how to properly communicate or mediate my own problems.
Ive been sober for 24 hours maybe 4 times in the last 30 days.
Im noticing a problem, however i dont feel like a problem should comfort me as much as this does.
Is it a problem? Or am i normal?
I also dont know what to do. Im currently drunk
