A few months ago, a friend who I considered my best friend said I wasn't close enough to be her best friend, she had a deep impact on my life cos she changed my life around with her advice.
The pain you feel when you're betrayed by someone who you look up to is unreal.
I cut all ties with her and mutual friends who happened to be a group with whom I hung out, I deactivated all my social media accounts and got isolated, many from the group texted and asked me if something went wrong, but I never felt that I could trust anyone except for my best bro and he never came and checked on me not even a single time, but I was there for him every single time, we go way back and I felt so hurt knowing that he didn't even care about me.
A month later I made another friend, with who I got very close, but eventually, even she left and I spiralled after that.
I cried every day even had suicidal thoughts, the fact that I had no one to talk to about it really got me bad and I never even tried to open up to my parents I have no idea as to why, I kept it all to myself and I was completely dependent on myself for everything whether it be school, life or even my thoughts.
I felt lonely for so long I had lost my mind.
My school reopened recently and I can't bear to look at the faces of people by whom I got betrayed, they don't know exactly what happened to me and they all act completely normal.
I don't feel like making friends now at all, I don't want to feel the pain of betrayal and at the same time, I don't want to feel lonely.
I feel different now like living in a dark room with no purpose, I don't find interest in doing stuff anymore, I feel bad about myself and overthink a lot.
I don't know if I'm going crazy and whether I need to find peer support, it all feels messed up.
I just wanted to lay it off my chest, so there you go a confession from a random internet stranger.
