I spent years growing up with you and experiencing life with you. In that process I attached so much of my being to you. So foolish. Losing you has been the hardest thing I’ve ever endured. The events that lead to our falling out are really a worse pain that I’ve ever experienced. I have no idea what to do with myself. I last saw you in July of 2020. I thought it would be easier by now. But each day I wake up and it’s worse than the last. I’ll never be able to emotionally recover from this. I hate you so much you fucking asshole. Why couldn’t we have talked about it. Why couldn’t you have given me a chance. How could you do this to me. Id give anything to stop loving you.
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look up Guy Winch, it’s not a miracle but it helps.
God, I feel this exact way. Felt this so much.