My husband raped me on our honeymoon.
I was sick for a week and two weeks after our wedding because of an undetected parasite.
I was too weak to have sex, but he shouted at me and pinned me down and forced himself on me.
I stayed in the marriage because financially I couldn’t cope on my own.
Also I didn’t have a healthy self esteem and thought I would be alone for the rest of my life.
I developed Vaginismus because of this, and couldn’t have pain-free sex.
Six years later he left me because of this very reason.
He refused to pay for treatment or for me to take time off work.
We got officially divorced two weeks ago, and I just found out he introduced his girlfriend (that he probably had an affair with?) to our friends yesterday.
I have no idea how to process all of this.
I feel like a discarded ragdoll who no one will ever want because of what he did to me.
I don’t think I will ever trust again.
It feels unfair that he is happy and no one knows that he actually did to me.
I realise he will never admit his fault but I feel obsessed about this and will probably never get over this.
My life feels over.
