ok finally, Jesus Christ i need to confess this somewhere
im so obsessed. im deathly obsessed. i cant bare to be without him, i can’t live without him. he is my soulmate, my destiny, he belongs to me and i belong to him.
I am crazy over him. ever since i finally confessed to him, i could finally control my emotions, i could finally feel real emotions. i could finally be a real person. i finally felt alive. im completely emotionless until im able to speak to him. i sit doing nothing all day, reading our same cute messages for hours until he’s finally home so i can reply and read every message he sends.
every time i have the chance, i take pictures of him in secret. my favourite and most prized possession is a picture of his hand. i love this picture so much. i have it as my lockscreen wallpaper and i printed and image out of it to kiss it all the time. it makes me so happy it makes me so fucking happy. i never want this happiness to go away.
i will kill everyone he loves, anyone he even interacts with, so that he can only come back to me. he hates bugs? ill rip every single little leg off that bug and stab it until he comes to me and says “thank you! you’re my saviour.”
i sit alone all day imagining fake conversations in my head with him. “i love you so much, never leave me” “i love you too.” i love it i love it i love it i love it i never want it to stop i never want to become an emotionless rag ever again.
i dont care if he uses me, beats me, abuses me. just let me keep having these emotions. please. im begging. let me feel alive. let me feel alive forever. i love you i love you i love you. if i lose you, ill kill myself. i cant lose you. ill kill anyone you dare leave me for. ill kill your parents, your friends, i will erase everything you own until your final destination is me. and i will worship you like a devine being until my own death. please. let me stay alive. im begging..