I was an Option? Makes Me Anxious

Hi, I wanted to share this with someone but it I’m so shy to open up about it. So I’ll just leave it here, hoping to have some feedbacks and advices from you guys. I’m a teenager. Before the pandemic I was on middle school. I had a lot of friends, everyone in the class was my friend. Until, this one guy from my class confessed on me and ask me to be his girlfriend.

I was shocked at first because i didn’t knew what to do, he was also my crush for 2 consecutive years. But, we started talking and getting to know each other for 2 months before I said yes on him. And after those 2 months i found out that he also likes my best friend whose from our class and they started talking to each other before we did.

I have read their conversation and it made me feel like an option. Cause that friend of mine during those times has a boyfriend and it was obvious on their chats that he’s making a move. He was about to confess but the girl rejected him. And thats when he started talking to me because he got rejected.

I was doubting about him back then and was even insecure to my friend. During those times I already loved him thats why it got me hurt thinking that maybe i was just an option. I have shared this with my friend because i don’t want to hide things between us and to let her know about what i feel but she misunderstood my feelings. And started backstabbing me now i don’t have friends and I have trust issues.

I’m now afraid of going to school and seeing people from our school because it makes me anxious about what they think of me.