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I’m scared that I can’t be loved or be happy

I’m still in love with my ex and will always take him back if he asked me. Unfortunately, I feel used and easy when he just easily finds someone else. I live with my sister who is in debt and my mother who doesn’t want to work cause she has always been a housewife and is comfortable like that. I pay for everything. Petrol, food, electricity, ens. I earn what you wouldn’t even call a basic salary and I’m fucking tired. I’m emotionally and physically exhausted from every single thing in my life. I don’t want to live anymore. I hate living. I have never travelled or been spontaneous or just lost control. I want to die but I’m scared of death. I’m scared that I can’t be loved or be happy. I want to sleep and never wake up again.

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