During 10th grade Chem class, I got a memory back that is very serious.
To preface, I have mental health issues that have resulted in me forgetting 90% of my life and being unable to form memories.
I do get memories back sometimes but they have to be triggered by random events or something similar.
I remembered my older molesting me.
I didn't know it was molestation at first and I didn't know if it even counted, she didn't due anything penetrative.
The thing is that I trust her now more that my parents and I know she's changed.
I know she was probably molested her self and was trying to replicate it towards me.
This is not to say I'm justifying her actions, just explaining them.
My friends know and had been extremely livid on my behalf, which I am thankful for.
But I've come to the conclusion to forgive her.
My friends don't believe I should but have respected my wishes.
It's been 2 years now since I realized what happened.
I don't hate her any less but there is more distance between us.
I don't know if forgiving her was the right move and I think even now I don't fully forgive her, but a part of me still does.
About 75% of me forgives her, if I want to be specific.
I won't tell my parents because there is a good chance they know and had done nothing about it.
I accidentally told my younger sister, with keeping my older sister's identity anonymous, and she was visibly alarmed and concerned.
I don't want to do that to her ever again.
Having a stranger's point of view on this would be more comforting than having a person I know discussing their view of it.
