In Reality, I’M Spiraling Down Deeper And Deeper Into Depression And Anxiety

I'm tired. I really am.

Every day, I try my best to pretend that I am okay, that I am still the same happy old me like before.

In reality, I'm spiraling down deeper and deeper into depression and anxiety.

for years, I have tried my best to fight off the pain that I am feeling for the sake of my family and friends that I really care about.

They all know me as the jolly, dependable one, and I would be the one that they talk to about their problems and struggles.

I feel really happy that they fully trust me and that they appreciate me listening to them but at the same time, its like a double edged sword because if I have a problem or an issue, I am afraid to tell them because I don't want them to worry about me and I don't want to become a problem for them.

This past month, my depression is becoming worse and I have started having suicidal thoughts.

School is also having a heavy toll on my mental health and I feel like I'm drowning in constant pain and suffering.

I am really trying my best to hold on but I feel like I'm slowly slipping further and further away.

I feel so alone, pathetic, and helpless.

I don't have the energy to keep pushing forward and I don't want to do anything else aside from laying on my bed while I wait for myself to die.

I'm tired, I'm just really tired of everything.