where to start?
i forgot how and when it happend but i remember the rest.
recently i had felt not alone anymore, not because friends or family.
i been feeling with 2 other guys always with me, not around me or anything like that.
they are inside of me.
like voices but they not talk with a voice.
it's weird.
more like mindsets, they both are opposite to eachother.
a lot of fights had happended inside of me because of how they hate eachother and how they can't decide what to do.
they always kept me with company when i am bored.
one thing i know is that both of them can't be talking or being with me if the other is already doing it.
they have a schedule of who talks to me at what times.
Also, i gave them names so it could be more easy to talk to them.
i gave them their names doing a reference to their personality and how they hate eachother.
one of them is Blay, he is a guy who is introverted and not often we talk, he always suggest to me to do inmoral and disgusting things as i type this, he is the worst of worst, i hate him.
the other is Ray, he is the guy who is extroverted and only tells me what to do, if i do something he dosen't like, it feels like he screams to me, he really hates Blay, he always tell me to not do anything that Blay does.
the meaning behind their names is Blay = Blue , Ray = Red.
the colours that always are enemies in games, Blay is weak, introverted and the enemy.
and one mayor thing i didin't said just now to explain their names.
you may think that Ray is the good guy right?.
Ray is a little bit to much a psychopath, he never feels empathy for anyone just for me and himself, not remorse or humanity on him.
and the main reason he hates Blay is that Blay feels empathy.
Ray see empathy as a weakness.
he often tells me to go and Fucking Kill someone.
like someone from the street, someone random without any conection to us.
the perfect crime he says.
but now you may think Blay isin't that bad right?
wrong.
remember that i said that Blay suggested me to do inmoral and disgusting things?
Blay is a disgusting zoophile.
they both are the worse of worse.
everyday i been trying to control both of them.
and trying to ignore their commands.
i don't like neither of them.
but i want to Ray to stay and Blay to fucking leave me alone.
atleast Ray isin't a fucking furry.
Ray helped me a lot through social moments and making friends.
he teached me a lot of things.
Blay only wasted my time and tried to make me into a disgusting monster.
i try my best to ignore them, but both of them dosen't know what morality is.
i know what it is, but as time passes, i start to forget that exists.
they made me think that Killing, hurting, being a furry, touching a fucking dog is moral.
i started to forget things and what morality is.
i fear if i don't do anything my brain could not handle this anymore.
but i don't know how.
i just want Ray to win and Blay to fucking leave me alone.
i want to be atleast with Ray.
I want Blay to die.
