Idk If You Are Reading This

Hi.. Idk if you are reading this.. but just wanna let you know..

something i can't keep in my head for too long it's just way too heavy to hold now..

I have had trust issues since time i don't remember but soon after high school i tried to change indulged with people trying to see the beauty in them but It was all good for less than a year..

later some incidents occurred which have completely shaken my trust..

From then onwards i stopped trusting ppl blindly other than you..

i would test ppl every now and then.. only to find em failing every loyalty test..

I am Sorry when i began to play to fool loud mouthed excessively speaking child my only intention was to see if those around me would protect me if i were weak or will they exploit these once in a lifetime chance they gonna get..

I kept you in the dark tho i shared every bad and useless but funny stuff with you..

While i was planning to build a future around you..

i was also trying to get rid of those whom i was so loyal to believe they are my best mates but they felt different..

so i was already on a mission when two of these ppl arrived..

they are the most overconfident pair i have ever seen..

i don't like to say it but i have been puppeting em around for 1.5yrs now..

They help me catalyse the process i know they are the least trustworthy of people but i also know the rest aren't worthy i either..

I know play the foolish guy sometimes… sometimes i just make everyone else worry abt me..

even elders who genuinely care but the truth is i m being monitored my every single step and word and the true and real me which you knew or i showed you i have withdrawn it..

and in present circumstances can't afford to bring him back..

i am a man on a mission and why i am here today is just to reassure you..

i m playing a character since so long.. gotten into the skin of it..

but as soon as i find my conditions again i will be back..

untill then please let things go on as they are going on..

i wonder if ppl really care abt me but even if they do none of em supported me the only time i wanted em to they played it selfish termed me fake..

and now i am actually fake coz nobody deserves the real me not the current bunch at least..

I wanna tell you..

i m in full control of everything that transpires the only 2 times i lost control was when my parents were attacked and when a really close friend turned out to be one of em..

today i m free of any burden to stay loyal to any of em..

and for the main 2 i m just exploiting their overconfidence to collect info i care about..

while they spoil my social image which stopped caring since 2020..

Don't fall in any traps, even created by me.. I love you.. I have always loved you..

Will always love you.. but today we'll be judged for every step.. but not always..

I hope you'll wait & know your man has no friends maybe but the best parents and a elder sibling soon he may hv new frnds and you'll find the real him again..

I hope you'll wait.. all yours.. love you.. <3

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