Hi.. Idk if you are reading this.. but just wanna let you know..
something i can't keep in my head for too long it's just way too heavy to hold now..
I have had trust issues since time i don't remember but soon after high school i tried to change indulged with people trying to see the beauty in them but It was all good for less than a year..
later some incidents occurred which have completely shaken my trust..
From then onwards i stopped trusting ppl blindly other than you..
i would test ppl every now and then.. only to find em failing every loyalty test..
I am Sorry when i began to play to fool loud mouthed excessively speaking child my only intention was to see if those around me would protect me if i were weak or will they exploit these once in a lifetime chance they gonna get..
I kept you in the dark tho i shared every bad and useless but funny stuff with you..
While i was planning to build a future around you..
i was also trying to get rid of those whom i was so loyal to believe they are my best mates but they felt different..
so i was already on a mission when two of these ppl arrived..
they are the most overconfident pair i have ever seen..
i don't like to say it but i have been puppeting em around for 1.5yrs now..
They help me catalyse the process i know they are the least trustworthy of people but i also know the rest aren't worthy i either..
I know play the foolish guy sometimes… sometimes i just make everyone else worry abt me..
even elders who genuinely care but the truth is i m being monitored my every single step and word and the true and real me which you knew or i showed you i have withdrawn it..
and in present circumstances can't afford to bring him back..
i am a man on a mission and why i am here today is just to reassure you..
i m playing a character since so long.. gotten into the skin of it..
but as soon as i find my conditions again i will be back..
untill then please let things go on as they are going on..
i wonder if ppl really care abt me but even if they do none of em supported me the only time i wanted em to they played it selfish termed me fake..
and now i am actually fake coz nobody deserves the real me not the current bunch at least..
I wanna tell you..
i m in full control of everything that transpires the only 2 times i lost control was when my parents were attacked and when a really close friend turned out to be one of em..
today i m free of any burden to stay loyal to any of em..
and for the main 2 i m just exploiting their overconfidence to collect info i care about..
while they spoil my social image which stopped caring since 2020..
Don't fall in any traps, even created by me.. I love you.. I have always loved you..
Will always love you.. but today we'll be judged for every step.. but not always..
I hope you'll wait & know your man has no friends maybe but the best parents and a elder sibling soon he may hv new frnds and you'll find the real him again..
I hope you'll wait.. all yours.. love you.. <3
