43 years ago next month I did the stupidest thing I've done, ever.
I was dating a girl a little more than 2 years younger than I am.
I loved this girl, with every fiber if my being.
My parents convinved me I had to 'guve her, her freedom, becayse I was supposed to be going to college out of state.
I thought I was being chivalres, so I let her go.
I was also afraid that if I didnt, I would have gone to far, because I wanted her, physicslly, it hurt.
I knew the momrnt I did it, I'd done the wrong thing.
I had evrry intention of coming back, and professing my love to her, tried to make it right When I tried to come back I found she wss datibg someone else.
So I gave up. I married someone that looked just like her.
Coming up on 40 years of marriage, but I still love the girl I left.
I've been lying to my wife, friends and family all if this time.
When my wife is away at work, or shopping etc, I sit here looking at a recent picture of the woman I still love, and cry myself dry so I can make it through another day.
My only wish at this point in my life is to get just an hour, where I can hug her, and whisper into her ear, how much I love her, miss her, still want her.
I know I'd end up crying on her shoulder for all of the lost years, joys, sorrows, triumohs and tragedies that a life together would gave held.
I akso cry for my wife, for the years of lying to her…she's done nothing wrong, and deserves somrone that loves her the way I love the girl I left.
I hope I can make that hug and confession real at some point, and that the womsn I've loved for all thus time diesnt completely reject me…hsving her as a sicial medua friend is so much brtter tgan not hsving her in my life at all, but I dont want to reach the end of my life with all of thus hanging ovrr my soul.
