I want to confess that I think I am a compulsive Liar.
I got so much better, I don't think I even am one anymore though I still lie to friends.
But I grew up telling lies about awesome things that I never did, making myself seem a strong and amazing person, extremely talented – and though I can be amazing, I never did those things.
And I'm learning that I can be amazing and loveable without being an insane dancer, the best of the class, the most courageous kid ever, without having many love interests, etc.
I always suffered with the feeling of not being loved enough and feeling kinda excluded, though I never really was.
I always felt the need to tell people wonderful things about myself.
I want to forgive myself for all of that. I wanna let it go.
It's still not over, I still lie, but I'm healing and discovering that I can be myself and that I am amazing myself.
I want to be genuine, honest, and live in my own skin – not am invented one.
It's a process but I'm doing great, I think.
I want to apologize for fooling my entire family and so many friends into thinking I'm an awesome painted/artist.
I started copying drawings when I was rather young and I still do it to this day to keep up with the lie kinda.
And the worst thing is that I know I actually have potential to be a great artist but I just never practiced and I wanted the praise and love from my family.
But that's ending.
I decided that I'm going to learn to be an amazing artist and let go of the lies, slowly.
That is one of the only consistent lies that still live with me.
But I'm letting things go, I'm confessing here because I want to be a better person.
I'm so sorry for fooling you, family, that was always so supportive and loving.
Especially my mum that thinks I do such an amazing work that is not mine. But I'll change.
And I'll be myself.
And I'll learn how to do amazing things myself and be more genuine and live my Own life.
I wanna change! And I'm proud for doing so and letting go of this. I want to let go.
Forgive myself for wanting love and praise and for wanting to be amazing in order to receive attention.
I thought I could only receive all that love if I lied hut that's untrue – that's a lie.
I can receive all those things AND MUCH MORE if I am myself!
I hope another compulsive Liar may read this and and feel compassion towards themselves.
We can get through this. We can be ourselves. We have to work for it but it'll be so worth it.
And today I choose to love myself. I choose to let go do all my sins and all my mistakes.
I choose love and choose to raise above all, and be a new person.
I choose step up and I choose myself above all that theater. Because I know I'm capable.
I know I'm lovable. I know I'm talented.
But once again, I'm so sorry to everyone – I'm so sorry mum, I love you more than anything in the world and I only wanted your love.
But I'll make you proud for who I am.
And I forgiving myself for being a compulsive Liar and I'm choose healing and love – I'll be okay.
