It’S Been 2 Years Since I Tried To Commit Suicide, I Don’T Want To Do It Again Because My Family Went Through A Lot But I Can’T Stop Thinking About It,I Just Want Everything To Stop

It's been 2 years since i tried to commit suicide, i don't want to do it again because my family went through a lot but i can't stop thinking about it,i just want everything to stop.

I miss being happy.

Feeling pressure to study when i hate school,to get a job when i know im too dumb to be hired and whenever i see myself online i hate the way i look and i feel bad for people who have to see my face everyday,honestly wish i never existed that's why i dont want to have kids i dont want them to feel or experience what i did when i was 15 ans now im 19.
I need help but i dont know where to go and i dont want to burden my family or friends again when they think im happy.

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