Whenever I reluctantly share my story, I always get comments that tell me to just move on.
I just…. hate it. Like, what makes you think I didn't know that?
And just because some people find it easier to move on from a difficult experience, does it mean that I'm lesser of a person for not being able to right now?
What exactly does moving on even mean. I go on with my life, yes.
I don't stop eating, I don't stop working, I still clean the whole damn house, I go shopping, I function, but the pain is still there.
And the painful memories remain.
Even if one day my heart no longer hurt because of the passage of time, the scars will still remind me of the pain I used to experience.
It's not the same for everyone.
People are so insensitive I just want them to shut the fuck up because no one asks you to give me advice, the reason I'm even telling you about my story is because you kept pestering me about it.
People like to stick their damn legs into someone's mud of tragedy and then decided for them how they should react.
It's like some asshole who keeps saying the same generic, unhelpful shit (but they think it's helpful and kind) to a parent who just lost their child.
I just get frustrated with the people and I can't say it to their face how I'm upset with them because if I do, each time it escalates into an argument they want to win.
Why do I, the person who is sad and depressed, am suddenly having to defend myself and feelings after you pushed me to tell you what's bothering me?
I ignore a lot of people these days. I just don't react. My heart is completely dead.
I'm actually suicidal, I'm only living because I don't want to hurt my family.
And I still care about people's feelings even though no one cares about mine. My heart is broken.
