TLDR: Lost my soul mate and this Christmas I feel alone in a new "relationship"
All was going amazing.
Cloud9 as some might say.
That's not to say there weren't any issues, but we were able to ride it through.
A year ago and 8 months ago, things started taking a turn for the worst.
Life just would not let up. Everything she did, life would smack it down. New job?
Gets fired cause senior coworker kept getting rejected. New courses?
Late night study sessions would ware her down immensely.
I would sit and help all night but it still wouldn't stick and she'd flunk.
Family would belittle her.
Let's put a pin for the last one.
Point being, I was/am(?) Madly in love with this woman.
So I put in a FRICK Ton of work in the background to make it easier for her to handle.
But ultimately it was futile. The pin, her health was shot (metaphorically).
Over the course of 5 few weeks it kept dropping.
Bed riddled and unable to see cause of ICU restrictions really messed me up.
Long story short, didn't make it. God damn, the most deviating 3 weeks of my entire life.
Her family barred me from attending anything and well that's that (they hated I saw through their B.S and would routinely get her to follow away from their footsteps).
I knew I couldn't wallow endlessly and 5 months ago.
I started dating someone from work.
This has all worked up to the following: has anyone else ever moved on?
I care about the new relationship, but I find myself not "truly in love".
At least, not in the way I felt originally.
I've been in ~5 relationships (2 "long term") and none stacked up to the previous one by any stretch of the imagination.
I don't know.
It just kind of hurts that it feels like I lost my soul mate and now this Christmas I just have to keep going.
Before anyone asks, no I don't feel unhappy in the new relationship, and my current partner absolutely loves it all.
She's estatic to be with me.
It's just than sometimes I catch myself smelling "that one sent" or seeing that something and wishing I was with my soul mate.
Life can be cruel, I guess
Proof of ID: 3dc367cca98cd9ba81e8cf172fa4ea37f368c7cccb378e0296626ab272a904c2
