I Will Put Up A Facade

I am convinced.
That when everyone around me is gone,
Every person and animal that I care about,
I will kill myself.
Because the sadness of life is too great to bear, especially with nobody to distract you from it.
I will not speak of this to anyone.
I will not tell anyone my plans, or what I actually think.

I will help them feel that they've had a good life, wishing the same good life for me.

As I'm watching their youth disappear and the signs of ageing take over, I wonder if they're also aware of it.

I wonder if it haunts me as it does them.

But regardless, I know how I feel.

I will put up a facade.

I will work my ass off for everyone around me to have a 'meaningful' meaningless life.
But when I'll be alone, I will kill myself.