I just realized I was basically a goldfish to my parents.
I’ve had longer conversations with strangers than I’ve had with my dad.
My mom always wonders why I don’t want to do things, when she always made plans with me and said “next week, okay?”.
They never happened, no matter how much I reminded her.
My teachers at school noticed I needed glasses sooner than them, three years after my vision started to go.
My books and the internet raised me, and the only time I actually had they’re attention was because they were shouting at me for not doing well in school.
The only reason I like cooking and baking so much is because it’s the only thing that I enjoyed doing as a kid that my parents didn’t belittle.
I’ve lost all interest in everything else because they only cared about whether or not I could make money from it, not if I enjoyed doing it.
No wonder I love the “found family” trope so much right?
While they were splitting up, mom would threaten to drive into traffic with me in the car and swerve like she was about to.
When I brought this up to her last year? “Why are you bringing that up now?
It was so long ago and I was hurt too.
You know I wouldn’t have actually done it right?” And when I told her I had been suicidal, her response was “that’s impossible!
I know you and you have never been that sad!
I don’t think they actually love, let along care about me.
Are they just putting up with me in their lives because they have to?
At least I have my best friend.
She’s always been there for me, no matter what.
