It’s not that I’m scared of losing him.
I know that I will eventually have to let him go; that is inevitable.
It’s out of my control, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.
I have lived without him before, and I know that I can do it again.
But there was no life before him.
I do not remember a time when I lived without him in my heart; he has always been there keeping me and protecting me.
He has helped me through so many bumps in the road, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to face the future without him.
I know the day will come when I stand at the end of the driveway and watch him drive away.
I know the day will come when he has to look me in the eye and say goodbye.
We both know that this can never last; I have accepted that.
As much as I wish to never leave his arms, I know that I will be so happy for him when he has moved on.
I can’t wait to watch him walk down the aisle and kiss the girl he loves; I can’t wait to hold his children and tell them how great he was to me.
I can’t wait to see him happy; I can’t wait to see him finally home.
I can’t wait to watch him pocket my heart and walk away.
I can’t wait to sit in the sidelines with tears of joy in my eyes.
Because I would give up everything for him; I would give up all I have just to know that he has peace.
After all that he has done for me and kept me through, I don’t dare but feel joy when he finds someone to do the same for him.
I will never be able to; I know that. But someone will.
Some woman will see him and hold him and kiss him and give him everything he deserves plus more.
And I know that I will cry.
Every night I will wish I was her; I will wish it was my children he brought to life and my life that he made brighter.
But he already has.
He has already given me everything I’ve ever needed, everything I’ve ever asked for.
He has loved me unconditionally. He has given my heart a home, which I am so thankful for.
And who knows? Maybe I will fall in love and have my own happy little family.
But my whole heart will not be in it, because it is with him.
I will love with all I have, but I will never, ever love with my heart again.
Because he holds it, and he always will.
There is nothing I would ever do to change that; that is where I want my heart to be, where I want it to be buried.
I will move on physically and I will live spiritually, but my heart will be laid to rest the second I look in his eyes and see that it’s over.
He will hold all that I have and all that I am, and I am perfectly okay with that.
Life will go on, and I will live to ensure this soul I hold goes home.
I have no other goal on this earth. There is nothing more or less that I want.
All I want is for him to be happy and to silently take my heart with him.
