I feel I have lost faith in love.
I have failed in love 3 times consecutively.
The first time I fell for the wrong guy, the second time it turned out to be one sided and the third time when I felt like I can never like/ love anyone, I got attached to a person who initially gave me a lot of hope but suddenly started acting weird, leaving me behind, alone, shattered and hurting.
I don't mind to be alone, infact I love my company but as much as I love myself, I also at times crave for someone who will love and respect me for who I am.
At times I feel like maybe I don't deserve love but then I tell myself that no that's not correct.
I can be loved too without any conditions applied.
This time I cannot share my feelings with anyone because it's too complicated and I don't want my friends to pitty me.
So each day I cry myself to sleep, my chest feels heavy and I don't feel like doing anything.
I know this phase will pass too and I will feel better after sometime, some day but till then this is what it is.
I don't believe in the concept of finding the right person anymore.
I have given up on romantic love, I don't have the energy to get to know anyone or let anyone know me.
However, I still haven't given up on love. I will still care for people and animals.
I will still pass on my love to others.
I will not let my experience control how I behave with others.
I will overcome this and work on myself.
Also as a reminder I would like to tell myself that I love me for who I am and I'm very proud of myself for handling the situation this well.
I feel good letting it out here.
