I was brought up in a joint family.
I saw my family members cheating on each other from childhood.Outside man used to come to our house when my uncle's was not in home.But that didn't bother me at first.
Nobody used to like me since my childhood so my uncle and aunties never let their kids to play with me.
So I used to watch tv only in free time.I stared watching porn and used to musterbate too much.
Sometimes 5 times a day.
I didn't realised what harm that was doing to me but after few years I realised that I have developed problem of severe premature ejaculation.As I used to alone all the time I used watch porn and musterbate quite frequently.I saw my mother beaten up by my father in front of me.
That was horrible experience.
Every man woman around me was so pathetic, abusive and characterless that I cannot express in words.
Slowly time passed without me realising that all these emotions which I was suppressing within me could harm me in such a brutal way.
I never talked to anyone about this as I did not had any close person to talk to plus it did not bothered me earlier.
Later when I got into a relationship when I was in 10th standard.
After sometime I caught her cheating on me with a other guy.so I broke up with her before my 10th board exams.
After exams I got into another relationship and things were going good.
Due to some family issues I left my studies and left home for sometime.
While I was away she also started cheating on me which I found evidence of.
I broke up with her also. And I went to engineering and started living away from my home.
At that time I used to stay in a rent apartment all by myself.
There were times weeks after weeks I didn't talk to anyone.i was so desperate to have someone in my life to talk to.
Then when I was in 2nd year I got into a new relationship with my classmate.
From the beginning we were very emotional about each other.
One night we were talking I told her everything about me.
All my weakness my emotional and family problems.
I couldn't stop myself from crying and seeing me cry she also started crying and she said that she is not like others and she will never leave me alone or cheat on me like them.it was very late at night and we fall asleep.
That was the best sleep in my life as I used have trouble sleeping.
Next morning I got a call from her she said that whatever she said to me from the beginning it all was a mistake and she didn't mean anything.
Later she told everyone in the college about my problem and everything I told her.
I was so ashamed at that time that I never went back to the college and came back to home.
Spent another 1 year in complete isolation.
Then started working in a company and soon realised that I cannot work for others.
So left the job and started my business.
For 2 years am holding on to my business and started exploring the stock market.
Everything happens for a reason and I couldn't see the the clear picture at that time but am seeing it now.
Since that last broke in 2018 I
