The many wrongs

I’ve decided to do this all in one fell swoop. My best friend dated a guy and I screwed around with him while they were together. I don’t think I will ever stop thinking about my ex, of many ex’s ago. I resent the fact that he is married and has a child with a women who looks so similar to me we might be twins. All of this despite the fact that I have no desire to see his bloody face ever again. My best friend dated a guy that it didn’t work out with, I have told her of my embarassing ‘crush’ on said guy which she claims not to care about but I feel that if I did anything to pursue something with him she would never forgive me. This is the same friend I spoke of above. I believe I might be a bit of a sociopath, the only difference between me and a sociopath is the guilt that I feel. But maybe that is the only difference that actually matters.