Old Falme Burning

When I was 24 I meta vibrant 36 year old woman who was divorced and we were instantly infatuated with each other. We kept seeing each other I felt as though I loved her and it was mutual. My parents dsapproved highly and on an intelllectual level they had soem good points. I basically went on a quest to find a mate that was acceptable to me and my parents. Also, I di feel the first tiem out I wanted a single same age peer with no kids, I have been richly blessed. but, every so often I have what I call ***** spasms in shich I remember the good stuff and long for her. I genuinely love my wife and was over joyed at teh birth of our kids. I know if I told my wife she would be like there’s the door buddy and for what a faded memory? It woudl tear us up. Support me if you can, I find myself praying hail Mary’s and our father’s at 2:30 am as I lay awake feelign like a phony. With the internet I found her tow years ago and we email and that’s it. But at some level it is ifidelity and wrong. God forgive me. Pray for me and support the frailyty of my humaness. I know I can’t be teh onnly person in the world that ever went through something like this.