I’m ashamed…

I’m 14. Okay, so, I really can’t take it anymore. Awhile ago I started, well, watching porn. Then I got into beast/incest, things that I am now disgusted and ashamed of. I had sex fantasies that I KNOW are not normal, like me as a mom doing things with my son, but not things I would ever REALLY do. Anyway, I feel that if anyone knew they would hate me for it and I really just want to let it go. I feel SO guilty and revolted. I just… want to let it go. Because I’m honestly sorry. I can’t eat, or even cry, however strange that seems. I want to just realize that I don’t have these nasty sexual thoughts anymore and that I am now a better person. Believe me, I try to get on the computer and watch tv. It… it just doesn’t help. I feel like all I honestly want to do is sleep. Right now I’m probably as close to crying as I’ve ever been. It just… hurts. And, no, I’m not making this up because I think it’s funny or whatever. I’m honestly feeling a lot of sadness and almost… really nothingness right now. I only feel slightly happy when I’m talking to my friend. Just that one person and… I don’t know what to do. I would, honestly, do ANYTHING to have my life back to normal. I know, I’m sick… I, I just… I don’t know what to do, really.

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What do you think?


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  1. Perfeectly Natural Hi Zilla,

    This is perfectly natural, yes it’s natural. This is osychologival to see your parents or sis in dreams that you are sharing your bed with her. But everyone goes from this stage and you need to understand this that this phase will pass over and you won’t face this situation again.

    You are not at all mentally or physically sick you just need to give some time for this phase to go away.

  2. good girl you are just a little perverted slut….great!!!! men love little perverted girls….you are going to make a lot of money in your life….just be careful

  3. I understand I understand your situation…I’ve been through similar and am kind of still going through it. Life can really suck like that but you know what, it is going to be okay. You’re still young and you can still beat this. Not on your own but with the help of God and Christ. Believe me, if anyone can help you get rid of this feeling and addiction that you have, he can. Pray to him and ask him to renew your life and rid you of these feelings. Believe me, you’ll feel a lot better and ultimately relieve of it. Just trust in him. He’s got your back.

  4. I had sex with my drunk mother when she was so drunk she had no idea that her son was having sex with her. So don’t feel bad having sex with my mom was the greatest experience of my life

  5. Please please do not think you are bad.
    Frankly you are NOT, repeat NOT, evil.
    Your thoughts and desires are no different to many of us as soon as we are sexually aware.
    Your mistake was looking at Porn too early in your life but that is NOT your fault.
    We are ALL curious but sadly some of us see things we cannot forget.
    I would argue you a a GOOD person. You have done nothing except make a mistake.
    I DO NOT HATE YOU or anyone like you.
    Especially someone so young.
    I do not know what I can post on here so I will end there, for now

  6. re your friend.
    Please please do NOT trust anyone in real life with these thoughts.
    Keep it anonymous on the internet.
    It can only lead to trouble in the sense they will ALWAYS be able to tell others and use it against you.
    You are worrying needlessly but this is a real, lifelong worry.

  7. Can I say (or at least try) I was wanting sex with by mother and (one) grandmother from a very young age (surely 6 years). LONG before I ever you the word incest let alone that it is considered wrong. Back when it was normal for me to climb in bed with my mother when waking or sleep at weekends with my granny.

  8. .Despite seeing people masturbate a dog and being humped by an erect black laborador (I pushed it through an unlocked door) it NEVER occurred to me that people had sex with animals.
    I was aged about 15 when I was shown a dog sex book (dog and woman) bought by someone who went to Holland back when it was legal there. (Not sure it is now).
    Like you I was hooked on the thought and cannot get it out of my mind.

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