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I Hope You Wait

I am a sad person.  I am 19 years old and have never dated or been kissed.  I am ready for a boyfriend and am pretty sure I would make a super awesome girlfriend.  A bit conceited?  Who isn’t?

The worst thing about me is that I am totally in love.  I think I have found my “missing puzzle piece”.  He is actually able to look down on me (I’m pretty friggin’ tall).  We share the same taste in beer, love of music, and appreciation for Nutella.  We talk about some fairly complex and deep things that I would not normally feel comfortable discussing with a guy.  We are even majoring in the same field of study.

Problem?  He has a girlfriend.  What makes it worse?  They have been together for six years already.  Even worse?  He is from the Slovak Republic and that is where she is.  I am here, only here.

My Slovakian Friend,

Every time I look into your clear, deep eyes I remember that I am not allowed to fall into them.  Every time I see you after quite a length of time, I wish that I could hug you.  If I did, I’m pretty sure I could not bear to break away after the proper length of time.  In fact, I would probably not act very proper at all.  I wish I could have ridiculously tall children with you back in Slovakia.  I would go that far away from my Southern comfort zone.

I feel like a terrible person for wishing I could steal you away, and I would.  I accidentally read an Email betweenyou and your girlfriend once that said something that translates like “I hope you wait”.  That is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard, and also so heartbreaking for me.

Admittedly, I wouldn’t even have a problem being your American “booty call” just to have some sort of intimacy with you.  How much of a hoe am I?  I apologize with all the sincerity I can spare, but that is the truth of the matter.  I would give you all the purity I have if you would accept it.

If you ever read this, you’ll know it’s you.  If you ever read this, you’ll also know it’s me.  I’ll be so embarrassed

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