Dont feel it anymore

Been married almost seventeen years now and I am just starting to realize how incompatable we really are. I just dont know If I want to keep on getting walked over and stepped on by you. You are one of the most selfish persons I have ever known, and yes when I stop to think about it you always were. I was just a fool who feel in love and though, oh if its love I will be treated with respect. I also thought we would grow, change.. we have just not together. Sitting by that camp fire watching all of those christian loving families with their friends gathered made me want to cry. I realized that I will never have that with you.Are problems are to vast and we are both now to tierd to try and peice it back to a somewhat fuctioning normal relationship and it is both our faults. Part of me cant wait for it to end and part of me still holds some tread of hope that you will wake up and want a better life for us.I am greatful for the fact that I have been though this once before in my childhood, or I dont know how any other woman could have stayed with you as long as I have.But than again maybe with someone you really loved instead of settled for out of family expectations; you wouldnt have treated her this way.I feel as if I have wasted my life trying to get some kind of love back from you that shows your words arent just smoke and mirrors thrown at me. Sometimes I wish you’d fall inlove with someone else so that you can see what real love is really like and just how good it feels when someone understands you like I had once.