Someone Please Help Me Find Some Love Before Its Too Late

I Would Like To Confess About My Relationship With My Son, I Am Not Ashamed Of It I Was At First, The Reason I Married A Gay, I Found Out After My Son Was Born, When We Had Sex He Penetrated Anally With Out Asking Me, I Know Some Women Like Taking A Cock Up The Arse But Not Me, He Didn’T Stop Having Anal Sex With Me When I Protested, He Said Get Use To It As It Was Part Of Marriage So I Accepted It, Until I Came I Home Earlier Than Usual And Found Him And His Friend Having Sex In Our Double Bed, He Suggested We Stay Together And Keep The Secret And Sleep Separately, And Have Our Own Private Lives, So I Agreed My Only Pleasure Was Breastfeeding My Son, He Was A Bit Of A Mummy Boy, So I Let Him Cling To Me, At Times He Was Upset When He Came Home College, I Let Him Suck On Me For Both Our Pleasures I Knew It Was Wrong But Things Changer When He Put His Hand Up My Skirt, I Helped Him By Removing My Underwear Told Him What To Do, And So We Are Having Full Relationship To This Day,