I met a guy about 2 1/2 years ago and it was supposed to be a fwb situation. We are both married. The day I met him I knew I would fall hard and I have. In the beginning things got confusing for me because of things he would say, “like you are the woman I should have married”, “f… it lets just run away”, etc. While I tried not to take things to heart they eventually hit me. Things are very spaced out and he keeps me at arms length. No contact unless we are to see each other, etc. I, am hopelessly in love. I cry when I leave him. I am suicidal. I love him enough not to cause him problems with his marriage since that is what he wants. But it’s killing me. I”ve ended it so many times only to go back. Taking whatever he would give me. He is my one and only affair/fling and I’ve been married a long time to an asexual man. I don’t want to hurt him either but this is truly killing me. I gets lots of attention from a lot of men but I’m just not interested. My hopelessly in love. And to make matters worse he is pushing away because of how I feel even though I make no demands, ask nothing of him, and basically am at his disposal. Which is not very often. I need help before I destroy myself. I can’t seem to instill in him the desire to love me back. So I’m left with hurting all the time wondering what can I do to fix this. It will be three years soon and I can’t believe that after three years he has no feelings for me but that is what he tells me. And he’s moving a 1,000 miles away for business. My friends tell me to move on and find someone else but I just can’t.
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