I am so confused right now.

I caused the end of my last relationship. I’m not sure if I did it on purpose or not, but I’m confident that it was me. I fell for someone else, and became distracted, and therefore more and more distant from my girlfriend. When she broke it off with me I wasn’t surprised, and initially I thought I was ok with it. Now I just feel so completely alone. I love my ex-girlfriend more than I have the words to express. I know that being back in a relationship with her would probably not be healthy for either of us, but I just miss her so much. I want to hold her. I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to do, trying to figure out how to follow my heart, and because I was being a fucking moron I had the decision made for me. I’m not even sure that I think it’s bad that it happened (we weren’t always good for each other), but I just feel so alone right now. I’d give almost anything just to have a conversation with her, to be friends with her.

M, I want you to know that I am so, so sorry. I love you.

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