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Save me from pornography

basically feel like i have nowhere else to turn so I thought id tell you all my story. I’m 18 and i will be going off to a well known college next year as a freshman. My life has been easy (pretty much a cinderella story cept im a dude) – adopted at birth, only child, EXTREMELY loving family, private schools all my life and all that business. The one problem: I have had a compulsion for looking up and seeking out online porn since i was about 9 years old. Has it messed me up? yes. permanently? i hope not. but I feel sinful, which i suppose i am. Today, after almost 10 years off and on of seeking out erotic material, i realized how much porn exploits women. Its gotten to the point where I almost set up a session with a local escort to have sex, but i hung up the phone before she answered. I need to stop before I hurt myself, my family, my reputation, or even worse, an innocent person. I feel like a shit human being, but even worse is I feel I cant tell anyone about my dirty little secret except for all of you. I hide behind the anonymity (sp) of this website to tell my story andhopefully find relief. Thank God for youall. I feel like im unforgivable, like Jesus has tried to save me many times before but i ignored him. I’m catholic, btw. but not a practicing one. I feel spiritually connected to my God, the Christian God and his son Jesus, but i just dont know where foregiveness comes from. I wish I could just meet all of these girls, these daughters, these sisters face to face and tell them how deeply sorry i am that I exploited them and masturbated to them, but the truth is I cant. I am an asshole, and realizing this makes me feel like a shitty human being because I cannot make up and personally repent the sins I have committed. ONly through prayer can I truly cleanse myself but so far prayer has only made me feel worse because i am not worthy of His forgiveness. will you forgive me? better yet, will you help me?

This community is probably my last shot.

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4 Comments

  1. Bloody hell, if this is the worst thing you ever do in your life you’ll be made a saint. Believe me you’ll meet a nice girl (or even a nasty one!) and all this will look like a big joke in a year or two. You’re so normal!

  2. Hello there, my name is Jake and I am also a Catholic who has struggled with porn. I know you are not practicing but I suggest going to see a priest about it, and trust me they have heard it all before- he will not judge you. Religion is a personal thing so even if your are not planning to start going again it is free consouling. Also something to look into even if just for theory is something called Theology of the Body which talks about the meaning of the body and sexuality and why masubation is bad and how to free yourself from sexual sin. You will not find help online confessing to a bunch of strangers, you need to talk one on one with someone about it. I will pray for you that you are healed of your addiction and find peace.

  3. About your porn addiction problem. . . it’s pretty obvious you’re STILL a virgin. So, get laid already and you can SAVE your perv self! The real thing is a lot more enjoyable than watching porn. Get LAID, then your problem is solved! You don’t need this site or a shrink, you just need to lose your virginity! Just get laid dude

  4. dr. good morning. This is now common problem with youth around the world. lust, ager and greed are the gateway of hell as mnetioned in bhagavat gita. you can regulary read this book. this will definately help you.