I Really Am I Am Sick Of Struggling Against Homophobic Neighbours

I am tied of being here, I really am I am sick of struggling against homophobic neighbours, being trapped in a difficult relationship, sick of still not having had any mental health help and sick of the mess, the cost of living and just being in constant pain.

Okay so to start my family (uk) were crazy evil people, my mother never wanted me and made it clear, they were catholic and she was preassured into keeping me, my biological father was a pedophile and famous to and eventually he was put in jail and we were moved and names changed.
My mother made it damned clear every day she never wanted me, when she had my brother she was over joyed he was always ill so she got alot of attention and she milked it, I was tossed to my grandparents.

My grandparents made me cook, clean, I was a servant, I was locked in a room only big enough for a single bed and a old wardrobe, my grandparents often had sunday dinners with the family, I had to cook, clean and lay the table then after dinner I would be abused by my male family.

This continued till my teens when there was a pregnancy scare and my grandparents got angry I was to sick to take care of them and put a stop to it, so instead the abuse became mind games, then when I ran away I was returned to them by police and found a dog waiting for me.

I fell in love with this dog and since I had ran away on my birthday fearing the usual birthday abuse I thought it was my birthday present.
I spent so much time curled up in the dogs bed petting her, snuggling I got so much love from that dog that I never got from anyone.
As a teen my family noticed me growing more rebellious, avioding chores and complaining of being tired, so they would hurt my dog, hitting it with their walking sticks, burning, kicking, screaming at it all whilst I was told it was my fault.

They killed two and I started to ignore what they tried and started to numb they at this point were in their 70s and I had been abused and imprisoned now for 33 years, then I got final dog with them, he was a shnauzer cross, I tried to ignore him but he crawled into my bed, licked my tears as I cried and I fell in love, my grandfather passed leaving me with the worst my grandmother, she would swing at him, throw herself out of bed repeatedly, demand the ambulance crews pick her up she was disgustingly obsese.

She repeatedly told me she would make me end myself, that she would destroy everything I loved, would hit me and make sure I suffered and I wouldnt outlive her.
Then She got sicker and started waking me denying me sleep, I became a zombie, and since we no longer had access to a car my grandfather drived I was allowed a cheap laptop and internet to do home deliveries, using this as she slept I made friends with the woman who would later save me.

This woman would later move in and help me care for my grandmother under the guise of being there as a ex professional carer, she was there to protect me, I was to scared to leave, then finally I broke, my gran

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