I realized I wanted to see a black cock “live”. Since my wife was not willing to see the ex again, or any other black man – I was on my own.
After months of putting ads out there online..I finally found a guy who was willing to show me his BBC, but he had a fantasy of forcing a white man to suck on it.
I was not getting any other offers just to “see” a black cock- so I agreed to meet him.
It was awkward, to say the least. I had had no other contact with another guy in any way – but there I was. We talked about sex stuff for a bit – he wanted to hear about my wife. That got him “excited”. He walked over to me, unzipped, and ordered me to suck it.
I basically “pretended” I was my wife. I did everything she does when she gives me a BJ. And yes – he was massive. He did a lot of talk about how my wife would love him, how I wished I was his size, etc..
He only lasted about 10 minutes…he came big, he sat back down, and I left.
But – as I drove home….i almost got physicallly ill. Just – knowing what I did…how I did not like it…. how I was embarassed FOR even doing it.
To this day – I hate myself that I cheated on my wife by doing something like that.
Does that make me gay if I did it the one time, but hated it?