Married male – but I tried “it”

My wife was dating a black guy for a couple years before me. I probably asked too many questions about him, the sex they had, his “size”, etc. Anyhow – just hearing her stories and thinking about how her fair-skinned body looked with him… I became hooked on interracial porn. I even tried desperatly to get my wife to hook up with the black ex boyfriend, but she made it clear she was not interested.
I realized I wanted to see a black cock “live”. Since my wife was not willing to see the ex again, or any other black man – I was on my own.
After months of putting ads out there online..I finally found a guy who was willing to show me his BBC, but he had a fantasy of forcing a white man to suck on it.
I was not getting any other offers just to “see” a black cock- so I agreed to meet him.
It was awkward, to say the least. I had had no other contact with another guy in any way – but there I was. We talked about sex stuff for a bit – he wanted to hear about my wife. That got him “excited”. He walked over to me, unzipped, and ordered me to suck it.
I basically “pretended” I was my wife. I did everything she does when she gives me a BJ. And yes – he was massive. He did a lot of talk about how my wife would love him, how I wished I was his size, etc..
He only lasted about 10 minutes…he came big, he sat back down, and I left.
But – as I drove home….i almost got physicallly ill. Just – knowing what I did…how I did not like it…. how I was embarassed FOR even doing it.
To this day – I hate myself that I cheated on my wife by doing something like that.
Does that make me gay if I did it the one time, but hated it?
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What do you think?


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  1. Does that make me gay? Gay? This does not make you Gay in any way, you did to enjoy and complete your fantacy, but this really makes you sick, i think you are sick.

    Please dont do it again, normal people dont do it, behave like normal man, be a man.

  2. You’re not Gay The fact that you didn’t like it and aren’t still trying for more means you aren’t. You were fulfilling an obsessive fantasy and you lost the plot midway and agreed to something you normally wouldn’t have.

    But yes, you did cheat on your wife. You’ve got to live with that. I won’t try to tell you whether you should ever come around to telling HER, but you’ve got to know you cheated.

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