When I saw him for the first time, I knew I would love him.
I didn't yet in the moment, but I knew my life couldn't move forward without getting to know him.
We became friends, and even when he wouldn't let anyone else close, he let me in.
Eventually we became best friends; we talked everyday.
I loved who he was, how he talked, how he was charismatic and how he could be kind.
No one saw him the way I did, maybe because he could be emotionless and unforgiving and irrational.
But the good parts of him were so good, they made the bad all worth it.
After years, the one day when he finally noticed me was one of the best days.
The boy I spent so long loving in silence in fears that he didn't feel the same, finally considered me.
When we started dating, he was so incredibly kind and sweet.
He was faithful, he made me feel like the only one for him in the world.
He made my heart feel so full.
He would always wrap his arms around me, hold me close, kiss my face over and over.
It wasn't even what he did for me: it was who he was.
I loved tangling my finger in his hair, I loved when he laughed as I tickled him, I loved that one corner of his mouth would smile before the other.
I loved his family and got along with his friends.
I would have done anything for him.
Things started to get bad. I tried so hard.
I would have done anything for him. But sometimes I would say things he didn't like.
Even the smallest things. He would get hurt, but it showed as anger.
He could only do things for me when I did them back.
He blamed me for us failing, said he didn't trust me. I tried to save us, but he wouldn't let me.
I know I hurt him too, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I would do anything to take it back.
I would do anything for him to hold me in his arms again.
The only way I can keep him in my life is to do something for him that would advance him.
I do it because that's how I hold onto him. I would do anything for him.
It crushes me seeing him move along and continue his life like we never existed.
I love him so much, I waited so long for the love to be reciprocated and I lost it.
