Why are you doing this to me?

God, I have believe in you that you will make live better for me, but I realised that I am deluding myself. Why have you pushed me from one pit into the other? Why have you allowed others to live in comfort amd laps of luxury while my family has to be burdened by financial difficulties? Why have you given others the ability of the gift of the gab while you have give me 0 persuasion power? Why have you given others abilities and aptitudes while you have given me none? Why do others have it all so easy but for me, no matter how hard I reach out to it, I can never seem to grasp it. It always slips through my hand. Why weren’t I smarter? Why weren’t I a glib talker? Why weren’t I more tactful? Why weren’t I a fast thinker? Why weren’t I made a genius? I see so many people believing in you, and yet, all they get is disappointment. So many people need help, but it never reaches them. Not only that, you have allowed people to trample on us. You have let us be overwhelmed by difficulties. Why did you look away when we were looking at you? Why did you cover your ears when we were calling out to you? Why did you leave us when we were in the lowest point of life? Are we really that insignificant to you? You’ve made us, so why have you abandoned us? I had enough of this. I want to get out of this life of mediocracy. I want to get out of this life of low income. I want to get out of this life of rejection. I want to get out of this life of misery. I want to become a lecturer in a university such that I can impart my knowledge to the new generation. Or maybe I can become a public policy maker such that I can reach out to the needy. Or perhaps, an exceptional economist such that I have the foresight to avert the financial crisis. Someday, I will crush all those who have trampled on me. I will take away everything from those who have boasted to me. I will inflict pain onto those who have caused me to be hurt. God, would you please turn and look at me, listen to me and talk to me?