I used to pray at night that my father and mother would divorce, i was only 5. I used to pray and sob for hours on end so if my mom were to die she would be an angel and be with god, i was 6. That years she was admitted to a hospital 3 hours away for two months, she had tubes down her throat and was barely alive. i used to look at the girls pass by my desk, they whispered under their breath that i was fat so i starved, i was only 7. i would run home full speed fearing that he would get me, and get what he desired he was 10, i was 8. i would sob in my closet with a box cutter to my neck threatening my family i would do it if they didnt accept me being trans and bi, i was 9. i would open discord and wear makeup and message 50 year old men for validation, i was 10. i would stay awake till the early hours of the morning trying to hit a vein, i was 11. i would come home with hickeys covering my body and all my dad said was to control myself and smoked till the sun rose, i was 12. i awoke at 12am to hear my dad sit down, he told me my mom had died, she was alone, i seen her lifeless body, i was 13. i would sit still and alone, i was an inpatient at the psych ward awaiting my discharge. i was 14. sob story core. ;-;
