food fetish

I have this food fetish. We go to a local Asian restaurant where they specialize in live deep fried fish. They pick out a fish, then the chef cuts open the body and peels the skin back. They then deep fry the body only, keeping a wet cloth over its head to keep it alive. Then they serve it alive and you eat the flesh while it watches and eventually dies.
We go there a lot. My hubby enjoys it too. I even have a few of my besties that like to go with me. Even though we know the fish has endured agony we still torture it further while we eat. I usually break its jaw which makes it bang its head on the plate from the pain. I can’t help but laugh at it! The taunting and mocking it continues until it gives up. We usually try to finish all the meat before it dies.
It is incredibly arousing knowing the creature is suffering great pain for our pleasure. Please don’t think I’m deranged. I am a quite normal 28 y/o professional female.
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