Five things I wish I’d told you

1. It’s not good to be tight with certain things – like tattoo artists.
2. Don’t assume all women prefer circumcised penises.
3. Liking Dave Mathews doesn’t make you interesting.
4. Thanks for showing me that it is possible for a guy to be bad at giving head.
5. If you need to use maths when you’re trying to tell a lie, learn to count first

For Justin