My name is Beatriz, I am from Latin America. My parents wanted us to speak English and we went to an American speaking school. I did well in school and with the help of the school I got a scholarship to a good university in the US. That is how I came to live here. I finished my degree and got a one year internship that was allowed under my student visa. But I was told by my employer that they would not sponsor me.
An American friend told me that I could stay if I got married. She knew of this woman that had done that. She introduced me to this man, he is seven years older, who wasn’t married and agreed to ‘sponsor’ me. We got married three weeks before I had to leave the country, and with the help of a lawyer applied for my residency.
My female friend spent a lot of time with me. One day when she walked into my apartment she kissed me on the mouth. A very wet kiss with intentions. She wanted a relationship. She said she knew I was gay and she was gay and now that I had my residency situation under control she wanted me to be exclusive to her. I had never thought of myself as gay, I had never used the word lesbian. She told me that I had to just let it happen and she kissed me some more and felt up my chest, pushed me onto the bed and performed oral sex on me. I didn’t resist, I opened my legs for her and after she was satisfied, with her face still wet I kissed her face over and over. It was my first sexual behavior, I was charged and didn’t want it to end and I finished by performing oral sex on her.
Our ‘lesbian’ relationship flourished. Including the sex part. I looked forward to being with her, she told me she loved me, we went out together. I depended on her to find the lesbian places to go so we could be around other women and not be bothered by men. But one night my ‘husband’ came over to see me. He told me that he was looking for a ‘woman’ and I qualified and I was married to him and he wanted me as a woman. He had decided that he was going to make the marriage work. He had sex with me, which he had the right to me. I found out he had every right to have sex with me. To make me pregnant. The law protected him.
I was pregnant and I was pregnant again soon after the first one. He had me move in with him. I got my permanent residency. He did not interfere with my relationship with my lesbian girlfriend. He didn’t care if I was a lesbian. The more lesbian the better, that kept me away from other men. He liked us being together, that we kissed or showed affections. He didn’t stop us from sleeping together. It was hard to understand, but he wanted us to be lesbians and have a lesbian relationship. And he was the man who permitted it under his roof.
He didn’t have rights to my lesbian partner, but he convinced her that she had to be a woman under his roof and get pregnant. We were so young, in our twenties, barefoot and pregnant. And he felt like a king, with his harem.
We are sixty years old now, he is sixty seven. I have four children, my partner has two of her own. Over the years we have lived all under one roof, we have had two houses, we have pretended to be sisters, we have both been in bed with him at the same time, we have owned the master bedroom while he slept in guest room. But not once in all these years have we suggested that we are not women under his roof and he has full rights to us. He is the man and that’s what we want from him. We have always wanted a man with the balls to keep us corralled and keep us pregnant. I never outgrew my Latino upbringing, if he isn’t the man of the house, what good is he?
