My mom and dad divorced when I was a baby and I never had any mother figure growing up. I lived with my dad and he worked day shift most of the time when I was little and didn’t date or go out with friends so he could help me with homework and we would go to the park or something together, he never left me anywhere so he could date.
Years later as I got older and in Jr high school he started dating and met a nice and good looking younger girl. Her husband had been killed in the Army and had been alone for a few years. My dad’s company moved him to 2nd shift. His girlfriend “Linda” was spending a lot of time at home with me, dad worked 2nd shift 6 days a week and I was 12yo, but when I turned 13 my dad made a big deal about being a teen now and soon will be a man.
The day after my birthday Linda started asking me a lot of questions that I had never heard, stuff about my body and do I know what to do to become a man. She told me since I didn’t have a mom to raise me right she would help if I wanted her to, so I said yes please. She wasted no time and told me to undress completely so she could see what all he had for her to work with, I was a little embarrassed to take off my clothes in front of her, but she insisted so we can move forward.
Not acting surprised, or embarrassed when I stood in front of her with nothing on, she did not stare at my penis, she took her hands and felt my head, neck, behind my ears, down my shoulder, arms and my chest, she then felt my nipples and pinched them a little and ask me if I felt anything inside me that felt funny. I did feel something tug inside of me deep. She then proceeded to check my feet and toes and asked if my toes were ticklish.
My penis started to grow a little bit from the things she was doing to me, but I did not know this, because I was not looking down at her. She moved up to my groin area, She asked me to spread my legs a little, she inspected my testicles and rolled them around softly feeling the ball inside and i’m kind of pinching and stretching my scrotum.
She then looked closely at my penis and turned it towards the ceiling to look underneath it, and rub it with her thumb, I begin to get hard, and she said that is natural and part of becoming a man. And that I was ready for the next part of becoming a man and when I woke up after a nap she was actually sucking me off, I had never CUM before and she told me to just lay back. I had no Idea what was really happening, I almost passed out when I came.
I grew up without a mom, she told it is something that moms do to boys to make them men. She told me all about sex and masturbating and that it is natural and normal we just don’t talk about it and do it behind locked doors.
I was 13 and she continued sucking me off and she would make me eat her pussy and she would CUM squirt in my mouth several time a night. This went on for years until I graduated, her and my dad convinced me not to go to college but to live at home and attend a apprenticeship program that was 3 years long and they would help pay for it.
So I never really had a girlfriend or a hobby because my stepmom keep me home and milked everyday. It wasn’t until after I was in the workforce and was asked several times about a girlfriend and I confided in a work colleague about how he had energy for a girlfriend when his mom is still making him a man, he asked me what I meant. I explained everything to him and he got mad and told me I had been sexual abused for years.
My coworker helped me get a counselor and is helping me through the process and healing, I don’t know how I will ever have a normal sexual relationship again, I do find myself attracted to that much older women, but I think that was part of the sickness put in my head, because my stepmother was older than me.
Talk to my dad about this and he doesn’t seem to believe me that it was a sexual abuse, and times that young boys have fantasies about their mothers and stepmothers and that’s probably what it was but it was just a dream, but never happened. I don’t even get a hard on for find women attractive sexually.
I have bad dreams about my stepmom making me suck her a certain way, and I can still smell her vagina and taste her CUM filling my mouth and I wake up in a sweat back to sleep. I have had a really hard time just telling psychologist and psychiatrist what is happened to me because it’s embarrassing.
Now I am 41Yo and single and very sexually
