I am trapped in a life that makes me feel so awkward and awful. When I was 8 I tried on my mother red lace panties. I was hooked from that day. As I got bigger I learn to wear her bra, girdles, stockings, heels. Finally dresses and wigs. I felt normal. I kept it hidden from all. There was no sexual side I was wasn’t experiencing any sexual desires until I was 13.
One afternoon I was all dressed up when I felt this strange feeling deep in my lower groin. Then I shot my load into the panties. It felt so strong and wonderful. That feeling lead me to explore other things, like inserting all kinds of things into my rectum. I found that I could cum when I did fast enough. At the beach I saw this older guy who’s dick was hanging out and I was attracted to it. I knew he was doing it for women to look at him, but I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
When he went in to the changing bathhouse I followed him in. When he took off his swimsuit I got a good look at his full cock. When he walked out I went out too. I wrote down his tag number. A friend of mine his dad was a cop. I asked him to find this guy info me that he didn’t pay for washing his car. He gave it to me. It wasn’t too far from our house. I created a full outfit and rode over to his house. I changed in park restroom left my bike locked up on the rack. Then walked over to his house and rang the doorbell.
He opened the door and asked me what I wanted. I said I saw you at the beach. He said so. I pointed to his dick and said I saw your dick out. Ok so what. I said I want to feel it. He looked around then let me in. He took off his shorts and underwear and said well. I dropped to my knees and licked him. I skip ahead but he took me to the bedroom and he used me fully. I loved it. From that day on I would visit him and he would use me as a girl. Since he was bigger than me I loved when he laid on top of me and felt his body as he pumped me. This was the beginning.
I came to learn to enjoy females also. But my desire for men to use me is still very strong. Today is difficult for me I want a man to use me. I want his cock pumping me and feeling his cum shooting into me. My wife has no clue to my desires.
