first kiss

I am still waiting desperately for my first kiss. I am already going into my second year of hs and I have never kissed a boy before. I am so nervous that when I finally do kiss a boy, I won’t know how! And i am incredibly shy and don’t really go to parties or hang out one on one with a guy so I don’t even know when I will ever get the chance to hook up with one. Ughh why is this growing up thing so freaking complicated and frustrating?