Fifteen years ago I joined a dating website for men looking for men. It was a farce, but I loved to see what was going on. Most men there were pretty honest, gay but not hurtful.
I got to the point of actually going on a date. The man was a professor at the local college, fifty three, a lifelong gay. He understood my need and he offered to help me try out to see what I liked. He was a top, I found out that I was ok with being the bottom.
Over the many months that we dated I became more and more comfortable with having sex, passionately having sex. I found that being the bottom passive role was really something that I enjoyed. But relationships come and go and after several months we moved on.
I am still in the closet, pretty deep in the closet, I’m retired now and I am still a member of that dating site, and from time to time I fix up a date, meet a man and let myself be the passive date, allow my partner to be the top. I just love being the one being made love to. If you met me out in the world I am a retired executive of a major corporation and am classified as being a toxic male because I’m so dominant. If only they knew what I love to do on a secret date, letting a man make love to me, I’m the receiving partner and I enjoy anal sex.
