You are using him even though you say you aren't. You are using him as a crutch, as an excuse to keep you from creating your own life. You are hiding from your independence. You are prostituting yourself and paying the price, that is why you feel the way you do. You know what you are doing is wrong. It's time to put on your big girl pants and go out on your own. You say you are in grad school, get a student loan, find someone looking for a roommate and MOVE ON. You aren't doing him any favors by staying. Who cares what your family thinks, they aren't living your life, YOU are! You are 23, it is beyond time to start living your life for you. The longer you stay the more you will feel obligated but you didn't force him to take care of you. It's really not that hard to go it on your own, people do it all the time. Seriously.