Ever since I discovered gay porn, I was quite fascinated by seeing naked muscled men and guys making out.. I always thought I was bisexual and had this fantasy of making out and may be have some oral fun with a good looking muscled guy, I was not thinking about anal though as the very thought made me sick !
The fantasy always infested my thoughts like an annoying disease. I had made a rule that I will get a sexual experience with a guy first before I sleep with a girl which is reason why I am still a virgin (with girls and I am 22 years old now) whenever my friends where trying to hit on girls I had my stupid rule stopping me from joining them.
After all those years of self control, I found one gay dating website and hooked up with one guy who was 20 years older than me, I made out with him and we jerked off mutually.. I didn't like the experience at all and I was wondering why but something was telling me that it was because he was much older than me and stuff so i continued my search on that site and found this other guy a week ago who was 5 years older than me..
He hosted and I went, we talked a bit then things started heating up, we made out got naked and sucked each other off till we both came... I didn't like it again and then I realized after the experience that I no longer like guys and that fantasy is no longer there but whenever I see muscled guys i keep on staring at them but do not feel sexually attracted at all.
I have never told anyone about this past of mine and am glad that I confessed somewhere (here). I now look forward to hooking up with girls and live a "normal" life
I guess something caused you to think men were sexually stimulating when jacking off and fantasizing, but when it actually came down to having a real life sexual experience you found out that it was not what you exactly expected.
