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My wife was dating a black guy for a couple years before me. I probably asked too many questions about him, the sex they had, his "size", etc. Anyhow - just hearing her stories and thinking about how her fair-skinned body looked with him... I became hooked on interracial porn. I even tried desperatly to get my wife to hook up with the black ex boyfriend, but she made it clear she was not interested.
I realized I wanted to see a black cock "live". Since my wife was not willing to see the ex again, or any other black man - I was on my own.
After months of putting ads out there online..I finally found a guy who was willing to show me his BBC, but he had a fantasy of forcing a white man to suck on it.
I was not getting any other offers just to "see" a black cock- so I agreed to meet him.
It was awkward, to say the least. I had had no other contact with another guy in any way - but there I was. We talked about sex stuff for a bit - he wanted to hear about my wife. That got him "excited". He walked over to me, unzipped, and ordered me to suck it.
I basically "pretended" I was my wife. I did everything she does when she gives me a BJ. And yes - he was massive. He did a lot of talk about how my wife would love him, how I wished I was his size, etc..
He only lasted about 10 minutes...he came big, he sat back down, and I left.
But - as I drove home....i almost got physicallly ill. Just - knowing what I did...how I did not like it.... how I was embarassed FOR even doing it.
To this day - I hate myself that I cheated on my wife by doing something like that.
Does that make me gay if I did it the one time, but hated it?