I have been with this guy for four years now, we live together and he pays for everything, even my car.
I am only with him because i would be homeless otherwise
he is more like a brother to me now than anything, making love to him is a chore.
i feel like i am paying rent every time we have sex, its a chore and not a passion anymore.
i feel old, fat and ugly at the ripe old age of 23
my family all but told me that they would disown me if we break up
i love him, just not romantically though
i feel as though i cant break up with him until i finish grad school and get a job
and i probably wont do that either, because i feel like i owe him so much
i will live the rest of my life with this guy, dealing w/his horrible family
I am mourning the loss of my young adulthood, I wonder if anyone else will find me attractive
i think i am a horrible person
i cant confess this to anyone in the world
i feel suffocated
i dont know what to do
i am just not interested in sex with him anymore, or at all for that instance
sometimes i really think that the world is going to end in 2012.
If anyone has anything helpful to say, please do, because I feel so alone. Its not that i am using him, i just dont know….
You are using him even though you say you aren’t. You are using him as a crutch, as an excuse to keep you from creating your own life. You are hiding from your independence. You are prostituting yourself and paying the price, that is why you feel the way you do. You know what you are doing is wrong. It’s time to put on your big girl pants and go out on your own. You say you are in grad school, get a student loan, find someone looking for a roommate and MOVE ON. You aren’t doing him any favors by staying. Who cares what your family thinks, they aren’t living your life, YOU are! You are 23, it is beyond time to start living your life for you. The longer you stay the more you will feel obligated but you didn’t force him to take care of you. It’s really not that hard to go it on your own, people do it all the time. Seriously.\